I received a spam email the other day with the subject line Call for paper. This is charming. Spam, but charming spam nonetheless. This is either from someone who desperately needs to read Dorothy Zemach’s wonderful English for Scammers, or someone who desperately needs office supplies. I choose to believe the latter. Thus, in an effort to put off the journal review I’m supposed to be writing, I humbly share …
A call for paper (with apologies to the musical Oliver!)
Paper, glorious paper! Clean A4 and foolscap. I don't want to be rude It's OK if it's called scrap. Vellum, letter, and parchment too: It's just something to write on. Wood pulp in its many forms Is what I've set my sight on. Paper, glorious paper! I'm anxious to fill it. Quills, notebooks, or reams My ink's ready; let's spill it. Please replenish my printer drawer, Torn, folded, or mailer. Oh paper! writable paper! printable paper! just send me paper!
Nigel Caplan 