Call for paper

I received a spam email the other day with the subject line Call for paper. This is charming. Spam, but charming spam nonetheless. This is either from someone who desperately needs to read Dorothy Zemach’s wonderful English for Scammers, or someone who desperately needs office supplies. I choose to believe the latter. Thus, in an effort to put off the journal review I’m supposed to be writing, I humbly share …

A call for paper (with apologies to the musical Oliver!)

Paper, glorious paper!
Clean A4 and foolscap.
I don't want to be rude
It's OK if it's called scrap.
Vellum, letter, and parchment too:
It's just something to write on.
Wood pulp in its many forms
Is what I've set my sight on.

Paper, glorious paper!
I'm anxious to fill it.
Quills, notebooks, or reams
My ink's ready; let's spill it.
Please replenish my printer drawer,
Torn, folded, or mailer.
Oh paper! writable paper! printable paper! just send me paper!


Author: Nigel Caplan

Nigel Caplan, Ph.D., is an associate professor at the University of Delaware English Language Institution, as well as a textbook author, consultant, and speaker. Nigel holds a PhD from the University of Delaware, a master's in TESOL from the University of Pennsylvania, and a bachelor's degree from Cambridge University. He is currently director of Project DELITE, a federal grant providing ESL certification to Delaware teachers. He also brews beer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: